If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
Whats the glycemic index on semen?
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
I need to find out this kids work schedule. I need mustache rides on my lunchbreaks.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
I made it out of the house. Success.
It's not better out here. I'm at Target hyperventilating in the aisles.
Randomize
