I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
Eric said he heard us having sex the other night. He said i did a great job.
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
Yeah, I wish I could have one upped you. But all I did was ride circles around a cop on a stolen bicycle while laughing at him for telling me to stop riding on the sidewalk.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
These guys are just fucking with my heart instead of fucking me. They're fucking up.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
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