Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
counting down the days left of school on my birth control packet.
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Our Icelandic basketball player brought cocaine and rachael is screaming that he should do lines off her stomach. It's that kind of party
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
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