Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
And I'm not sure if that's how you pluralize penis. Never planned on needing to know that in my life.
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
TFW YOU ACCIDENTALLY SEND A MEME ABOUT LIKING ANAL TO THE GROUP CHAT. JESUS FUCKING CHRIST, WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
