like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Did I hear correctly when it sounded like he said "just don't let me throw up into your vaj?"
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He burnt his arm on the grill, then turned around and started blaming it on the burger buns...I think it's safe to say he's drunk.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
Like I respect him so much I would suck his dick
In a very non respectful way
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
