She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
I just woke up to a guy kissing me goodbye and leaving for class. I don't know where I am, don't have any clothes on, my underwear are gone, and the shoes I found with my dress aren't mine. He just walked in and gave me my phone. I was on my period. Come get me I will walk to the nearest intersection and wait.
I bet he comes in French.
How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
