Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
He sent me a picture; erect penis, cat in hand and no pants on. He got a boob pic for that one.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
I'm shaved like a Brazilian hooker right now.
I have the flu.
I don't give a shit
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
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