i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
The only ground rules are no one is allowed to come who will say "no, that's a bad idea" or "what if we get arrested?"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
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I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Earned the respect of a group of freshman by chugging Das Boot while hanging out a window and lost it shortly after by wrecking a clown bike into them.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
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Boobs are out for the taking
What the hell do I have to give up to manifest a dick
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
If walking through the neighborhood with a bottle of tequila and margarita mix is postgrad life, I'm okay with it
He told me their parents think of me as the "drunk friend"...oddly enough, I'm ok with that
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