the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
All I can remember is being told by a guy named Kyle to stay in the corner until the cops left. Then waking up on a porch outlined in beer cans 8 blocks from my house. Pregaming for college.
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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