You can't motorboat a personality
Happy hour is for amateurs. Been drunk since 1230. Fell asleep in a disney viewing of UP. Went to the roosevelt and drank more. Now im stumbling around the grove.
i just fell asleep at my computer and i woke up and in the google bar it said delicious foods to eat
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
well other than the faint smell of fireworks in the truck you can't really tell the windshield was exploded
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Randomize
