Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
i woke up with toilet paper straight tucked up in my underwear wearing a pizza sauce mustach. I dont think i got laid last night.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
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