Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
Apparently I also called my credit card company to demand a credit limit increase. I'm so content with not drinking another 60 days
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
You know if we weren't hooking up I think we'd actually be friends
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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