Obv we're gonna bbm each other in bed
Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
I think I know how big ted kennedy's penis is.
I wish life had little blips of pornography
You know its good night when theres makeup smears on the toilet seat
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
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