i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
DICK PUNCH EXTRAVAGANZAAAAAA!!!!!
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
He had a flex off with himself in the mirror but he thought it was someone else for at least 20minutes.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
Randomize
