You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
