You can't wash away shame.
I can try.
you know you're not getting laid when you start breaking awkward silences with quotes from Robot Chicken
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
In hindsight, buying 4 different kinds of vibrators at once may have been a little overenthusiastic of me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm on the couch watching HGTV googling giant boob Halloween costumes so life is swell
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
