Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
My cousin just asked what abortion is. Happy Holidays.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I offer naked tickle fights and orgasms and you call it trouble. I call that Christmas.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
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