well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Don't forget the part about the bar bathroom stumbles.
Oh damn, you're right. I have to include that. You turned off all the lights with your head. That was impressive.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
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