They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
I'm just that much of a man that I can watch Ellen and Oprah back to back and still like girls.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
I was in the bathroom and heard my brother scream "YOU FAIL!!!", and I swear to GOD, I thought my penis was yelling at me.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
Randomize
