I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
Randomize
