he called me a worthless slut and then went 2 the bathroom 2 pee on the floor before leavin. but he was really hot and he left his jacket, should i call him?
he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
The best of us have puked in our office garbage cans. I just hope yours wasn't the metal mesh kind...and bagless like mine. Rock n roll office manager.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I'm gonna adopt her diet plan of secretly sleeping w a desperate ex... It combines excersise & loss of appetite due to guilt
This night could easily degenerate into a drunken haze of strippers and gambling, but I need a support network.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
She calls him the walking dildo to his face. That relationship is already fucked up.
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