wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
I thought you were single?
I am. But thats cuz no one wants to marry shame and regret doused in tequila. But thanks for reminding me ya dick.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
My love will cover her like lulu lemon yoga pants. Casually supportive and always complimenting your Ass.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
Seriously, I look like I crawled out of a bog. Succeeding at being as undateable as possible.
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
Do you want to go soon I'm overthinking life and my butthole again
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
