they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
My brain says no but my pants say off.
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
I'm going to have to start playing roller derby again so I can blame my sex-related bruises on that.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
