I wish Morgan Freeman narrated my life.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
i was surprised by the severity of his small dick condition
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
If you listen closely you can hear the sound of inbreeding and shame.
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Apparently I was having great conversation with this 48 year old on grindr & he was concerned as to how I was getting home.
I know him enough to fuck him but not enough to give him advice.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
