I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
yah i'm on my way- is everything ok?
i'm holding a walmart bag of my own hot vomit that i closed up with some random chicks hair tie. we r pretty fucking far from ok
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Watching the gap toothed girl get more ass than me is almost devastating.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
She left a blunt and poutine on my nightstand with a note saying "went to the gym. be ready for round three when I get back" I love Canadian chicks
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
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