Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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