1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
Clothes are such an inconvenience.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
My professor just told me I'm living a lie and I found puke on my pants. How do you think it's going?
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize
