Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Post-sex nachos deserve a song.
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize
