We should be called the Road Head Warriors
Remeber, hes got nothing better to offer you than drunk words and hairy balls.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
I took her to see 2012 then broke up with her, the movie was a metaphor.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
ok so I've decided, new penis Thursday (formally known as new people Thursday) will need to be put on hold next week in preparation for Friday
Memorial weekend is the following week genius. New penis Thursday countdown has already begun.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
There's a hole in our hallway wall. Don't hate me. I'll fix it. It's only about the size of a beach ball. I promise to never scale walls in our apartment ever again. Don't hate me. I love you.
Randomize
