have you ever been in a public bathroom and someone walked in, and you played "Fat or Crying" based on her breathing?
How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
We all have a cross to bear. Yours just happens to be attracting gay men.
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Sunrise bitch. You owe me waffles
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
