do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
My mom made me chili for when I get home from the bar. Those are the standards I expect you to live up to
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
I figured you left because I was a shit show. Were you still there when I got locked in the bathroom and didn't know where I was? If not, that could have been a dream. I'm still not sure.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Randomize
