i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
I'm going to make him fall in love with me one blow job at a time.
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
So I fucked him. Then I MC Hammer'd to the bathroom, where I did the robot in celebration of my accomplishment. And then I spent 10 mins fixing my toilet. But YOLO.
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
I'm experimenting with sincerity
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
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