Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
Regardless, you never quit out of your interenet. You left your porn on the living room comp. Then you passed out four feet from the chair with your hand still down your pants. We decided that we should go back to her place instead. Worlds best wingman.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
had a convo with my professor before class while peeing... new level of awkward or a breakthrough in our relationship? i feel like there is no longer a professional boundary.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I now have a GPA requirement for guys I hookup with more than once.
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
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