i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Right, because I totally see myself driving all the way down there to fuck his world famous penis.
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
Found some boxer briefs on my patio table this morning surrounded by a case worth of empties. Starting to remember why I have rugburn and a sore asshole.
I think people are normalizing furries
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
Randomize
