Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
i would one night stand the shit outta him
They wouldn't let me hang out the sun roof and sing apple bottom jeans in the drive thru of hardee's i think i no longer like these ppl
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Thank you for holding my butt in a non-sexual manner when its cold. I appreciate you and your warm hands.
Randomize
