I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I just threw up on the floor. And we're gonna fuck on the beer pong table, so keep everyone upstairs.
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
This electrician is just ripping my house apart and I'm too hungover to ask questions
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
She just started crying. With my dick still inside her. Something about her grandpa.
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
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