Who wears a wallet chain?!
she was on her period so I asked if she wanted to make ass babies
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
You can do it. What doesn't kill us just drives us to drink
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
she asked him to cuddle cuz she was cold and instead he got up, moved the space heater to her side of the bed, and went back to sleep
So ive come to the realization that my affinity for tattooed guys makes me the literal definition of tit for tat
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
he came with me to get plan b but they didn't have any. when I started crying he said "come on it's not that bad.. ill go get sandwiches from the vending machine and we'll have our first meal together as a family"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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