Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
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ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
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Booty calls should never involve the cops.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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