I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
I gave you a 45 minute blowjob. You were inside me for 3 minutes. I'm going to need you to get your shit together.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I mean, I thought you would respect me for turning your life around for the better. It seems just yesterday that I found you in a ditch with a cock in your mouth.
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
pray to the hookup gods
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
If you're doing something that makes your best friend lock you in a bathroom you shouldn't be doing it
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
sober me is not impressed with the quality of people that drunk me gives our phone number to
I gave him one of my famous hand jobs.
Randomize
