So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
When he came downstairs he looked at me like I was attempting to rob his house.
Did you reintroduce yourself?
He threatened to call the cops.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize