how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Taking my final with a coffee mug full of keystone... best semester ever.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Well, now that you have a gf, its gonna be awkward when I get drunk and make out with you..... Then later, pretend like I don't remember.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Everyone was hooking up and I was just by myself rolling around in the grass at one point ... Which I am allergic to.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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