peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
Duck Duck Cougar?
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
Do vagina's smell?
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
I can count the number of hours she's been sober this weekend on one hand.
I just farted in the bathroom and the guy in the stall next to me started gagging. Its a beauitful day
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
He asked me to come stay with him so he could "see that ass and watch Harry Potter."
It was like Lady and the Tramp, but just tramp and the tramp. And instead of spaghetti and meatballs, we had whiskey and cups
Randomize
