someone get that fucking seahorse.
he had more hair on his balls then in my Easter basket
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I just pulled a piece of cookie out of my bra in the middle of class. I'm forever alone.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
you said you were the change fairy and you kept throwing all of your quarters at me.
Randomize
