Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
she asked me if i can do her a favor, came over, and gave me head then left. i still dont understand how that was a favor for her.
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
I woke up with what appeared to be LSD in my pocket. Know anything about this?
I've got your keys and your panties. You can have one back. Your play honeybuns.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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