I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
Is it weird to say that Kobe reminds me of a wise brontosaurus?
I can't wait til I'm a real grown up and am no longer expected to take 7 shots of raspberry ruby as a pregame to a night of drinking natty lite
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
Randomize
