Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
seriously iPhone. stop autocorrecting all my fucks into ducks. you're making all my strong worded texts look harmless and adorable.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
Its like a 4.5 hour drive but there's drinking involved so I'm destined to go
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
The cop let us off with a warning because I had more Twitter followers than he did. The future is terrifying.
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
In your alcohol circus, can my act be juggling men? Let's be real, I can juggle multiple dick buddies better than a professional
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
I just mixed tangerine juice with sauv blanc. on an unrelated note, my episide of intervention is slated to run in April.
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Randomize
