Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
It was 5 a.m. and we found him making margaritas with nyquil...
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
I just got wasted for $3.50. My life can't get any better.
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