just found out my sister was breast fed and i was not...pretty upset about that.
Thank you for holding my bra last night while i did a topless lap around the house
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
Aka I'm headed to the liquor store because I don't know how to handle my emotions.
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