you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
What's the rule for getting in fights with homeless men in suits?
Here's a rule: don't
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
