I'll pay for our taxi if you let me makeout with the drummer and we don't leave RIGHT when the bassist does.
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
I hugged the bouncer as we left.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
It's a sad day when you're not really phased by the McChicken video only because you've seen weirder porn.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
