My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
I think John will remember that birthday for a while. I'm still dying at the fact a stripper was hunting me down.
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
Randomize
