I just had a 2 1/2 hr conversation about the pros and cons of taping your ballsack to your taint, which then led into the unveilling of lady gaga being a hermaphrodite.
I'm so bored, I can only pretend that this truck is a spaceship for so long.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was so wasted he lit his sink on fire with shit he found in his room....it was smokeless. Chemistry majors drunk = the coolest shit ever.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
I once went to target high on hydrocodone. I assure you, they can handle unrespectable.
He sounds like Chris Tucker and wants to eat me out when I’m on my period. If that isn’t love I don’t know what is.
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