we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
It's official: I now only own one pair of jeans that I haven't blown the crotch out of. It might be time to put a stop to red wine Wednesdays.
You mean, in addition to red wine every-fucking-days?
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
