I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
Wouldn't be the first time..I think there's a subliminal message constantly playing in my mind that says 'blackout', 'throwing up is fun' 'too sober'
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
im almost positive that in mid thrust she told me she was pro choice
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
After 8 hours of circus trick sex, his parents are both hugging me and kissing me on the cheek asking when I'm coming back over. Score?
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