Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
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