She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
Randomize
