4:33 am: Sleep on left side of my bed. T-shirts are second drawer on left side, boxers top right. I don't wake up when lights are on so feel free in my room..
i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
So I just googled the ten commandments... Were fucked.
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Changed all my ex bf's names to "no" in my phone so the next time I try to drunk text one of them it'll basically be like Russian roulette
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
Randomize
