you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
you didnt know i had herpes?
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
I can already almost taste penis in my mouth
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
Is it sacrilegious to take tequila shots on Saint Patrick's day?
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