So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
just realized the sink is the perfect height to piss into never cleaning the toilet again
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
No more Irish car bombs ever.
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
2 out of 3 people here lost their shoes. America.
She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Randomize
