She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
I was doing karaoke to "baby got back" and apologizing for being white at the same time.
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
