I showed him my bush... on skype.
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
There are very few times i will succumb to laying naked on my bathroom floor. But lastnight is a resonable enough cause.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Randomize