to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
He peed in the bird bath. Those birds are gonna be pissed
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
Regardless of how one feels after a break up, whiskey must be consumed.
he BROKE his KNEE while we were getting it on, called 911 and the ambulance that showed up contained two paramedics, ONE WAS HIS FUCKING SISTER!!! HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?!?!
Poor life choices...?
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Taking a shot every time the Russian in COD says vodka... BEST drinking game ever.
Randomize
